⚖️ Lawyer Jokes
#1
What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
The lawyer charges more.
#2
How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.
#3
What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
#4
Why don't sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
#5
What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?
The caterer.
#6
What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
The pronunciation.
#7
What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?
No changes occur.
#8
What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer miles.
#9
Why did the lawyer show up in court with a ladder?
He heard the case was going to a higher court.
#10
What do you call a lawyer who doesn't chase ambulances?
Retired.
#11
What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
After you die, a leech drops off.
#12
How does a lawyer sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
#13
Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
They don't want the competition.
#14
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Your Honor.
#15
What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?
The bucket.